Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Interview with an Artist [who’s slightly insane]

Hi there, folks! My name is Vanessa. I am an artist and mom of two children, and also author of a popular blog [and by popular, I mean that it’s read by a lot of my family members across Texas, a few random people across the nation, and by at least one person overseas. Thanks, Brother!] I had the privilege of interviewing a fellow artist/blogger who happens to share a name with my blog. I hope to see what Nessa Dee’s been up to lately, and why she has been neglecting her own blog.

Vanessa: Hi, Nessa Dee! Thanks for taking time out of your hectic schedule to humor me. How have you been lately?

Nessa Dee: Good, though I’m slightly worried about you.

Vanessa: Why’s that?

Nessa Dee: Well, the fact that you are interviewing yourself, for one. Not to mention that you’ve got me playing along with this whole charade.

Vanessa: So are you saying that I should be worried about you?

Nessa Dee: Let’s just get this over with.

Vanessa: We haven’t been seeing much art on your blog lately. Being that this blog is called Nessa Dee: [Art + Life] one would assume that we would see a little more art. Can you comment?

Nessa Dee: Well, first of all, Van… can I call you Van so I don’t have to type out Vanessa anymore?

Van: Sure, as long as I can refer to you as ND.

ND: Works for me. First of all, Van, I have a bunch of new paintings that will be making their way to the shop real soon.In addition to the paintings for my shop, I had a couple of commissions that were recently completed, as well as a series of paintings that made their way down to a coffee shop in Austin this week.

Van: So why haven’t we seen any of these paintings in the works? It’s not that hard to post a couple of pictures now and then.

ND: Well, it’s not that hard if your camera works. My camera kicked the bucket, and since a detailed description of my art doesn’t really compare to picture, I haven’t mentioned all of the new paintings.

Van: With all of the advancements in technology these days, there must be other ways to snap pictures. Don’t you have one of them fancy phones with a camera in it? In fact, haven’t you been posting pictures from that camera phone?

ND: Yes, you’re right. I do have a camera phone, and I have posted some pictures from that phone, but the quality isn’t that great, and it’s not ideal for taking pictures of art.

Van: Really? You’re going to use that excuse? A little pretentious are we? Okay, so your phone camera isn’t good enough to take pictures of your art. Even so, we haven’t heard much from you in the life department either. Is there a reason for this neglect?

ND: Along with making all of these new paintings, I am homeschooling two kids for the first time, instead of just one. I’m also teaching an art class to homeschooler’s every Friday.

Van: Yeah, so what? The Duggars homeschool like thirty kids at once.

ND: Well they’ve had years to perfect their homeschool.  I am going from homeschooling one very determined child, who’s very disciplined, and has a very long attention span, to adding a very rambunctious child into the mix, who’s very determined to school his own way, and has a very short attention span. It’s a very hard transition.

Van: Very?

ND: Very. Besides, with only two kids, I have the added pressure of making sure I don’t screw up homeschooling. If the Duggars ruin their first few kids, at least they have over a dozen more to try to get it right.

Van: Very well then. I have to say that I still don’t see the reason for neglecting your blog. Look at Pioneer Woman…she’s homeschooling four children, blogs everyday, has written a cookbook, and is hosting her own cooking show. 

ND: Why do you keep comparing me to super humans?

Van: To get to the truth.

ND: Okay, do you want the truth? I’m unorganized. I procrastinate. I hate to write. It takes me a long time to blog anything that requires more than a couple of sentences. If I don’t have a picture to speak for me, I won’t post anything. When I have pictures, I have to find the time to edit them. And some days, even though I have the time, I’m just lazy. Most of the time, though, if I’m writing a blog post, it usually means I’m neglecting other things like teaching my kids, or cleaning.

Van: Well, by the looks of your house, you must blog all of the time [grin].

So this post must really be testing your every last nerve. No pictures. Lots of writing. Do you have anything else to add, Mrs. Lazypants?


Van: Oh I get it…you’re ignoring me. Wait, where did that picture come from? I thought your camera was broken.

ND: I stole borrowed my friend’s camera to take pictures of all of my latest paintings. I was getting ready to post the pictures, once I got off my lazy bum, but then you so rudely interrupted me with this bogus interview.

Van: You’re just using this as an excuse not to edit the photos.


Van: Alright. We’re done here. I hope we never have to do this again.

ND: This interview was your idea.

Van: Exactly.


nessa dee


Anonymous said...

You are so funny! We might need a Van/ND interview to become a monthly edition in your blog. Thanks for the laugh!

P.S. I know where you can find a great kidsitter anytime you are ready for a break or you come so I can spoil you.

Beth Stone said...

This post cracked me up... :o) Can't wait to see your new work whenever you find a working camera!

Jenna said...

And I thought I was going insane. Love ya. Miss ya, cuz. Could use a hearty laugh like our picture.